Thursday the 14th June 2018
Fuck me it’s windy out there, like REALLY windy. We’ve had a few casualties in the garden; the wee plasticky greenhouse that I’ve no long since bought and planted up with pride blew like a leaf across the garden earlier; twice. It slammed against the garage wall with a right satisfying crunch – which was nice. I especially enjoyed the way it battered THROUGH everything that got in its path, plants, furniture, Eli’s toys. It’s spewed it’s contents all over the patio so there’s bits of broken plant pot, pepper plants and soil every fucking where. Joy. I’m not sure if the greenhouse is deed; some of the poles have snapped so I guess it depends on if we can mend them or not. Why do we need wind? Whats it for? What’s it do? So far the only thing it’s done here is exactly what I said it would do: move the thing that’s in the right place over there, where it shouldn’t be and break shit. Thing is, I thought we’d be alright because the garden is so sheltered and enclosed and it’s generally not been an issue before but no, it turns out I’m a fucking idiot, so there’s a revelation. Seamus has made it though! He survived his first storm! I looked out at the nest this morning and Agnes was there with the wee man under her wing. She looks wild like, feathers puffed up, mental glaze over her eyes but then if I’d been sat outside on a roof in gale force winds all night I’d not be looking my best either, so I’ll give her a bit of leeway.
It’s set to calm down a bit in the next few hours and then die out completely tonight and I tell you what – I’m looking forward to the calm. I had a shit nights sleep last night because it was wild, but also because I’m starting to come down with some sort of throat and ear thing and I was congested and sore and achey. Now, as a normalton it wouldn’t have put me up nor down, I’d have known it was there, it would have bugged me but I’d have just got on with stuff. As an ME fuck up it means that it’s completely wiped me out. In fact every virus is like this now; everything hits far harder than it did before and I guess that’s because my body is so fucking tired that it feels like its being kicked when it’s down. I don’t blame it. I think I should be in bed trying to sleep it off so that I don’t hurtle against that brick wall at 90mph tomorrow, or the next day, or whenever, but I can’t because… there’s an old man in there and he’s turning my bedroom into an amazing dark blue cave for me. So I’m not in bed, I’m sat on the coach, and I’m sore, and I could cry with how exhausted I am… but I won’t, because I’m an ugly crier (snot, red face, the lot) and also because I should be grateful that I’ve not gone into automatic shut down yet which basically means I lose control or talking and just sleep. So no, no crying, it solves nowt anyway and actually makes me feel even MORE knackered than before so it’s a waste of energy with nothing in return. Instead I’m sat here typing back and forth, it 12.17 and it’s taken me since 8am to write what I have so far which doesn’t really bode well for the quality – soz!
The bedroom and kitchen ceiling should be finished today though which means that tomorrow I can sleep as long as I need to (after I’ve salvaged what I can in the garden), and I’ve a feeling I’ll need it… ploughing through like this is NOT recommended. In fact it goes against the very foundations of the pacing technique I’ve been trying to use to distribute my energy sensibly. So I will crash, I just don’t know when, for how long or how severe it will be. The joys innit? Still, on the plus side, that’s another big chunk of work done in the house and after the carpet is fitted on Tuesday I can start getting the bedroom cosy again which, for me, is brilliant news. I spend so much time up there that I’ve really struggled with it being bare for the better part of 9 months; especially at the moment when I’ve needed that calm space to unwind and relax in. I’ve got some bedding sorted, I say sorted, it’s en route but I’m not sure it’s going to “go” just yet; it’s… well its really fucking bright to be fair but with the dark walls, grey bed and grey carpet, I wanted something to lift the room a bit and make it a bit of funky space. I still need to try and find something to put up at the window, I’ve tried to look but my brains not quite working and have you every tried to find a roman blind at 3.14m wide? Impossible. Curtains look half arsed up there; the window is too wide for them to sit in a way that makes them look good. It just kind of ends up looking like, I dunno, spiders legs? so I do think it needs a blind but a roller blind seems too casual for a bedroom (and I can’t find one long enough yet) so I’m thinking that a roman blind would work better. If I was more crafty and talented and shit, I’d just look into making one myself but I’m cack handed at the best of times – it would like a rabid dog had got its hands on a sewing machine while raving. It would not be style personified. So, I need to rely on the skills of someone else, which means I need to find someone who won’t bankrupt me for doing it OR I need to look at getting 2 or 3 separate blinds up, but it’ll need to wait. Today my only goal is to make it to bed time; my normal goal is 9pm, if I do that I’ve done well.
Dear Diary, I know this is a short diary entry but I’m buggered, this is taking way longer than it should and I’m not even sure it’s making sense because I’ve had to stop and start so many times, so for now; adios
- The bedroom and kitchen ceiling are now fully painted hoooorayyyy!
- Seamus survived the apocalypse which is was a pleasant surprise given his taste so far for thrills
- The wind is dying down now thank fuck
- Eli seems on better form after a 6am rise and no breakdown when I wasn’t around this morning so that’s promising
- Greenhouse and contents are fucked I think
- I’m not feeling well at all – it’s a right pain the arse on top of everything else
- I’ve not been able to rest and I desperately need to
- I’ve taken fucking ages to write this – way longer than normal
- What’s on the menu Mellars? Still on left overs for lunch!
- Breakfast – a yoghurt
- Lunch – Some home made barley, veg and gammon soup
- Dinner – Mexican Chicken I think… whatever I can chuck in the instant pot!
Are you new round here?
If you’ve just stumbled across TryingToDoItAll and have no bastarding idea what’s going on you should probably go back and read a few blogs from the beginning. Don’t panic, I won’t ask you to read them all, but these few posts will help explain. Oh stop sighing, it’ll only take you a few minutes. Fucks sake.
- Well you’re here, so you may as well get comfy
- Can’t stop M.E. now…. ahmm having such a good time, ahmm tickling your balllssss!
- When are the grown ups coming?
- Major surgery…again?
- You’ve got to be kidding M.E.?
#mecfs #meawarenessuk #mewarrior #silentillness #swearymum #meblogging
ME Blogger extraordinaire… not really