Flaccid pizza, burny bits and Argos

Monday the 14th of May 2018

Well as far as Monday’s go, it’s not been too shabby. Eli reverted back to normal form and woke up at about five much to everyone’s delight but he was at least able to tick over on his own till about half past, which was the same time Bear and Bonnie started singing so I gave in and got up telling Christiaan to stay in bed. He played a Sarah on me though, and followed me down the stairs 10 minutes later because he feels guilty leaving me to get on with it on my own. I know that he’s been hit hard with this ear infection because he’s continually pouring from an empty cup; he struggles to feel OK with me just plodding on. I’m not going to lie and say I’m not relieved when his face peeks round the door but we’d have been OK. Eli and I always manage to get through our time alone; there’s CBeebies, Amazon and Netflix all with multiple hours of brightly coloured shit to watch when things are bad. I really am always sensible with my energy first thing on a morning because I never really know what’s coming and I need to gauge just what I’m dealing with that day. Gone are the days that I could get up and go at 90mph; I’d be done for the day by 10am. So now I don’t. I wait for 2-3 hours after getting up before assessing what I may be capable of and I then try and achieve it. I take a lot of short cuts though. I even bought the actual paid version of Trolls the other morning rather than hauling myself up, trying to find the DVD and then fighting with the box of doom to get it on telly. A fiver to conserve energy – Bargain.

So we had a fairly quiet morning. I had a pre-8am visit from the local magic metal people. I dunno what you officially call them (fabricators?) but they’ve said they can sort out the shenanigans with the wrought iron railings and a gate we inherited which are, slowly eating themselves with rust. This house is an utter twat….everything is fucking broken. Anyway, I had sent them a message early doors when I got up with bollockchops and had expected they’d get back to me at some point in the day….. an hour later and Andy from Archway Metals was at the door giving me a quote – he’d wanted to come early so that I wasn’t stuck in all day waiting so had popped in on the way to the workshop. I love people like Andy, they make my life so much easier because it WOULD have been a pain in the arse to be waiting for a visit, even if we’d had nowt we wanted to do. Soooo we’ll be having the gate and railing replaced within the next few weeks with galvanised steel. I’d love to say I’ll miss the wrought iron orange skid marks trickling down the white walls of the house but I’m not mental.

I also had a few bits to collect from Argos this morning. Well I say a few bits, there was fucking loads of it – a wee plasticky greenhouse for me and a new slide for laddo being among them. I hadn’t really thought about the logistics of managing them myself if I’m honest, that’s where my logic falls down but thankfully Christiaan is still off work so I didn’t have to battle it out or beg a stranger.. Which has happened in the past. So this greenhouse, I need it because I’ve bought some pepper plants and a tomato plant to “nurture”. I genuinely am morphing into Alan Titface, and I’m kind of embracing it. It’ll be worth it though! I eat a lot of peppers and tomatoes so growing my own means I’m quids in right? Even if I get 6 peppers and the equivalent of a pack of wee tomatoes that’ll be £4 or thereabouts saved! All for an investment of £35 for the greenhouse, a fiver for the tomato plant and £3 for the pepper plants. You’ll not find a better deal than that! Fuck it. They had better taste like tears of joy. It’s alright though, it can grown monkeys according to Eli…. but not heathers according to Christiaan. “There’s a label on it that says you shouldn’t plant heathers in it Sar” he says, now that didn’t sound right to me so I had a look. It says you shouldn’t use HEATERS in it you tit.

I remembered to take that pic of the view coming back from Argos into the village for you. I’m 10000% sure you’ve been cursing me for forgetting for a bazillion weeks, after all your life revolves around mine…. right? Anyway it’s pretty so here you go, farms on one side, water on the other and a big bastard island called Inch Keith in the water… funnily enough. That’s the road that leads into Kinghorn from Kirkcaldy, it leads to such Mecca’s as B & Q, Eli’s nursery, Morrisons and Dunlem Mill. You know, where all the cool kids hang out.

The only REALLY good thing about Eli getting up so early is that he rarely fights a nap because come midday he’s knackered. Today he was asleep within minutes with monkey snuggled in beside him so I got the luxury of A) writing a bit of the blog on my phone and B) getting tonight’s dinner prepped. Now Monday night dinners are normally pretty special because I like a good feed after fat club, it’s generally take away or the like, but this week, well THIS week I was pushing the boat out with home made pizza and french fries (off of McCain because… well they taste filthy). The pizza dough is a bit of a twat to make because it needs quite a bit of kneading and it didn’t even occur to me to use the dough hook on my mixer, probably because I’m a fucking idiot, but anyway I got it sorted and left it to prove, chucked a chicken in the instant pot to shred for tomorrows dinner – just in case I can’t tomorrow. Its become second nature that; I always try and do as many wee bits as I can at a time because I genuinely never know what I’m going to face each day. This pizza for instance has been on our Monday menu board (yes I write a menu board every week) for 3 weeks now but my hands and arms were sore and haven’t been strong enough to knead over the last few weeks so it didn’t happened. It’s the small things that can frustrate you the most. Turns out I wasn’t up to it today either because it fucked me, yep 5 minutes of kneading does that, and I spent the next hour recovering in the garden while the wee man napped. Still loving the new comfy furniture FYI.

Eli got up from his nap in a cracking wee mood, all smiles and big cuddles and he absolutely lost his shit at the new slide and toys; totally worth it. Plus it meant he was happy just pottering about all afternoon and we didn’t need to entertain him too much – very very good news for me. I’m still paying for Saturday really but I can’t grumble, it’s not as bad as it should have been by all accounts. I’ve taken less in the way of pain relief than yesterday and I haven’t felt like I needed to sleep…. wanted to yes, but needed to, no. Maybe spending so much time in this sunshine is helping? I reckon it is you know; I felt warm for the first time in months today. Actually warm. I mean, I should have felt on fire to be fair because I’ve actually burnt my chest and arms a wee bit – incredibly stupid but in my defence it didn’t feel warm enough to burn – to me. The relief in feeling warm, I can’t even describe it… it was awesome but I must remember when putting suncream on laddo to whack some on me too… eejit. Anyway here’s the man himself showing you his new spoils – he was as chuffed as a nun with a double ender.

Soooo I had decided I was going to the earlier fat club tonight so arrived at half three to see what had gone on this week. It’s a farrrrrrrrrr busier class full of people who feel very invested in other people “not pushing in”. It wasn’t aimed at me but fuck me you’d have thought there were free cakes being handed out the way this crowd ran to the scales. When it was MY turn I stood on the scales wondering what the fuck the story would be this week; I still can’t explain last weeks gain and I’m not that arsed about trying, it’s just one of those things when you’re doing ANYTHING with M.E. – sometimes things work, and sometimes they don’t. This week however, they had worked and I had lost 2lb. Happy days. I’m officially down in the next stone number and I think I’m the lightest I’ve been in about 13 years. Now that to me, given how metabolically and physically challenged I am is a HUGE win. 3 stone 1lbs gone when I can barely walk the length of the driveway some days – HUGE. I had already decided that I was having a glass of wine tonight come what may and I’ll enjoy it all the more now. It’s my first for many many months.

I tell you what I didn’t enjoy though – my fucking pizza. I’m gutted. I had forked out for a pizza stone but I’m not sure if my oven was hot enough for it all to work as it should have. I’m pretty sure I need to leave it for longer than the 20 minutes I gave it to get to optimum heat, buuuuuuuut I didn’t know that at the time. All that work kneading and it was just “alright”. Not as cooked as I wanted it, it stuck to the stone, the toppings I’d chosen off of Tesco were pretty tasteless which didn’t help; chorizo my fucking arse, that tasted like plastic to me. I should have known better really. At least I have enough dough left over in the freezer to try again when I’ve worked it all out but for tonight… I feel cheated. Eli obviously wouldn’t even try it and I can’t say I blame him but, the broccoli on his plate won over my home made pizza which was a kick in the flaps. Even the worst pizza in the world wouldn’t make me turn to fucking broccoli. He’d also clocked that I had stirred cheese through his pasta sauce and was incredibly suspicious of the “new” stringy bits which meant he ate less than he should have and it was a performance. Fuck him, he needs to learn.

Eeeeeeeesht I just tried to take the laptop outside to finish writing in my new oasis of warmth and tranquility now that the tiny dictator is up in bed. It seems like such a civilised thing to do but FUCK ME it’s fucking baltic out there now…. well to me anyway. Other people are still wandering up and down the road in shorts and t-shirts, I’m sure they’re going somewhere and not just wandering idly to be fair but STILL, they have significantly less clothes on than I do right now with my vest, jumper, leggings socks and trainers on. I lasted about 2 minutes and one sip of my glass of wine before coming back in, and even then that’s because I’m stubborn, but here’s your Instagram shot because….well who care’s what real fucking life looks like innit?

Cheers/Chin chin/Up yer arse/Sláinte mhath(Google it).


The end

  • Highlights
    • 2lb off at fat club – result
    • I have a glass of wine – result
    • I felt warm today – result
    • The kid was happy with all of his new plastic shit which meant I got to rest – result
    • New iron thingys coming
  • Lowlights
    • Christiaan feeling guilty and not taking the opportunity to sleep when he’s poorly
    • I’m feeling a bit shite to be fair, I don’t want to labour the point today because you’ve had a few heavy posts from me so I’m hiding it down here so that it’s noted but not in your face
  • What’s on the menu Mellars? It’s weigh in day so its all gone to shit hoooray!
    • Breakfast…. TOAST TOAST TOAST TOAST, TOASTIE TOASTIE TOAST TOAST (2 slices of white, one with Nutella, the other with peanut butter).
    • Lunch – negative, I was still full from brekkie
    • Dinner – Below par pizza and a handful of chips… which I pretty much left. So, 3 small slices of pizza…. fucks sake.

Are you new round here?

If you’ve just stumbled across TryingToDoItAll and have no bastarding idea what’s going on you should probably go back and read a few blogs from the beginning. Don’t panic, I won’t ask you to read them all, but these few posts will help explain. Oh stop sighing, it’ll only take you a few minutes. Fucks sake.

  1. Well you’re here, so you may as well get comfy
  2. Can’t stop M.E. now…. ahmm having such a good time, ahmm tickling your balllssss!
  3. When are the grown ups coming?
  4. Major surgery…again?
  5. You’ve got to be kidding M.E.?

#mecfs #meawarenessuk #mewarrior #silentillness #swearymum


4 thoughts on “Flaccid pizza, burny bits and Argos

  1. Would it be worth getting yourself one of those lights for people with SAD? (And not just cos you’re a big saddo…)


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