Tuesday the 8th of May
Welcome to the second day of M.E. awareness week. NO NO HOLD ON, COME BACK, I PROMISE IT’S NOT ALL ABOUT THAT – you know I write about other stuff too but this is a wee bit important and I’d be a right tit if I had the size of audience I do and didn’t mention it. All the other M.E. zombies all of the world would literally kick my flaps in… if they had the energy. That’s not the point though, they would if they could.
So, yep it’s day 2… you probably missed the first day, it was yesterday but I didn’t think it a fair to shit all over your bank holiday vibe with more than a splash of self indulgence so I didn’t because, well lets face it, if you’re here and you’re reading this you’re already pretty familiar with me telling you about M.E. aint you? Unless you’ve been glazing over at those points; in which case… are we related?
I’ve been tagged and messaged about loads of stuff going on yesterday and today which means it’s working, but if you haven’t seen anything yet there is loads and LOADS of information on the ME Association website. You’ll be chuffed to hear that I’m not going to go on and ON about it. You’re all adults (I think?), if you want to learn more you will, and if you don’t then that’s OK too; I know very little about the majority of illnesses out there – it’s just not mandatory is it? Awareness doesn’t need to be schooled though, it just means you have a vague idea of what’s going on so I’ve copied some key facts from the MEA website – just in case you’re unlucky enough to bump into a carbon copy of me when you’re out (unlikely, most are in bed), or planning on attending a sponsored sitdownathon (there’ll be loads of us there). It’ll protect you from that awkward conversation that may be on the cards where you get MS and M.E mixed up; a bit like a social condom if you like.
What is ME?
- ME – also called Chronic Fatigue Syndrome – is a medical condition characterised by profound and disabling fatigue
- Symptoms include: loss of muscle power, debilitating pain, difficulty sleeping and cognitive dysfunction affecting memory and concentration
- The cause of ME is unknown, but many patients contract it after a viral infection
- Women are four times more likely to have ME than men
- The health watchdog in England is currently reviewing its guidelines on diagnosis and treatment
So there you go, you’re an expert now innit? If you’re not and you can’t be arsed reading about it you can watch this instead.
Today is not only day 2 of ME Awareness week it’s also Tuesday – shocker I know.
Tuesday, as you’ll all know by now, means a solo parenting day, but today fate has mixed things up a wee bit because….I have a poorly Christiaan. Poor bugger is feeling really rough. It’s a viral thing I think but he’s been fighting with it since late last week and because he never gets time to himself to recoup, it’s caught up with him and floored him. I obviously have ALL of the guilts because he get’s very little opportunity to just rest in between Eli being a toddler, me being an ill-ard and him needing to be an employee too; he’s like a hamster on a wheel. It’s shit for him and I wish more than anything I could change it, but I can’t, so for now, we’ll all just muddle on and hope he’s only a sleep away from getting better. It’s not like he wipes my arse for me, or has to get me dressed; I’m lucky in the respect that I’ve got the majority of my physical capability still in tact for the moment and only need minimal help with the basics. There are loads of people out there who’ have severe M.E and they’re bed bound; I can only imagine what their partners need to do to keep life ticking over. It’s not something I ever want either of us to find out; the dynamics of any relationship would change forever once you’d shat on someone’s hand I suspect. I guess that’s the side to illness people rarely get to see; the focus is pretty much always on the person who’s unwell and not the people who are supporting them. So if you see him out, give him a cuddle. He enjoys a good cuddle. Especially from strangers… honest.
So anyway Christiaan’s keeping a low profile and Eli and I have spent our Tuesday morning how we always do; at my Mum and Dads playing and being charming (him more than me). I kind of wondered if we’d get there at one point right enough, because someone tried to kills us on the road to their house. At least I’m presuming that’s what was going on, I can’t think of any reason why you’d pull up on a farm road and start reversing into a driveway without prior warning. She had the nerve to be gesticulating at ME in an exasperated manner for trying to over take her when she’d all of a sudden slammed on the breaks and stopped. Apparently I should have sat there waiting for her to finish her completely random set of manoeuvres without any indication of what was going on before I attempted to get on with my journey. What an arsehole I am. I must have missed the memo.
I’m always completely fucking amazed at people’s ignorance to the dangers around them, especially on the road, and especially when you hear so many horror stories. I was so amazed it would seem that I shouted “Fucks sake” at the top of my voice before slamming on the breaks. You can guess what happened next can’t you? A tiny high pitched voice behind me went “fox sick Mummy, fox sick!”.yes my boy, fox sick indeed.
We do need to start being careful now mind, Christiaan called Bonnie a fucking idiot earlier after she tried, deliberately, to trip him up. Now that makes him sound either paranoid or harsh but she does it a lot when she wants feeding or attention, he’s not imagining it because she does it to me too. She’s an utter dick at times that cat, she’s also incredibly lucky that she’s still in one piece because the amount of times I’ve almost landed on her doesn’t bear thinking about. So anyway, Eli tried to repeat that too, I can’t quite remember what he said instead but it wasn’t far off. This is not good news for two adults who could easily blend in at a tourettes social function; we could have moulded his language irreversibly by the time he’s two if we’re not careful.
He woke up in a right lovely mood thankfully this morning, really happy and smiley. Christiaan had got up with him for the first half hour or so because I wasn’t aware he was feeling so shit and I was also feeling like a deflated ball bag so, knowing I had the whole day to get through I cuddled back down for a bit longer. I always fear the worst on solo days; that Eli will decide that being a dick is the only thing on his agenda and he MUST master it. They don’t come along too often thankfully, I mean he’s always on the brink of arseholery but not often an utter dick. So when I popped my head round the door and he and Christiaan were happily doing jigsaws I breathed a sigh of relief. It would appear he had a growth spurt in the night too because he looked about 10 today….which was odd seeing as he’s only two and a half.
Yep, that fucking hat again… I have no idea how he’s going to cope when it dies, and believe me, I will kill it one day, not deliberately, I’m not an animal but I’ll spill something on it, wash it by mistake, or leave it somewhere because I’m a clumsy fucker. It’s not been off his head in days and my biggest concern now is that its nursery tomorrow and he’s probably going to want to take it with him. He’s not allowed. We already have issues with some of his clobber going missing when parents or kids pick it up by mistake… I am not risking it with the sacred hat, I’m not sure any of us could cope with the fall out from that.
So anyway, I got distracted soz….we went to my folks, had a nice morning and then came back to check on the patient. After the mighty meltdown about lunch (again) I tried to get my darling little bollockchops down for his nap, he had other ideas though and decided he was going to take the utter piss out of me instead by not sleeping and twatting about. So, he’s back up again and has had no nap – which means this afternoon will be fucking delightful. He’s been up since 6 and he’ll need to keep himself ticking over until bed time because if I let him sleep later we’ll still be awake on the 43rd of Julember. Danger nap’s, i.e. naps after designated nap time are a dance with your sanity and I do NOT have my dancing shoes on.
In fact I’ve got no shoes on because it’s pissing down and we’re indoors. It wasn’t meant to be but as always Scotland has commitment issues when it comes the weather. “The UK is to be bathed in a glorious sunny heatwave” says the MET office, but Scotland, well Scotland could argue with its own fucking shadow and responds “Eh no, I do NOT fucking think so, I’ll be sunny when I choose to be, not when you tell me to be…. FREEEDOOOOM etc.”. So as a result of our own stubborn climate we’ve got NONE of the sunshine today. When I checked the weather forecast this morning it was set to cloud and sun, I could cope with that – I could chuck Eli out in the garden of doom this afty, I’d do a wee bit of pottering and we’d both get some fresh air. Instead we’ve been to fucking B & Q AGAIN for more plants (I keep buying planters) and we’re now watching Moana while I type on here trying to ignore the fact that he’s chucked jigsaw pieces everywhere and poor Christiaan is trying to rest.
As the afternoon wore on I was 99% sure we were headed towards a huge fucking meltdown with Eli given the lack of sleep and the lack of outside but apart from being a tired crazy mess he was alright. He ate his dinner OK, well some of it, he ate the beloved pasta (obvs) the broccoli and some peas. I had put some of our dinner on his plate but he wouldn’t even entertain looking at it so it went straight in the bin. I got him bathed, Christiaan got his jammas on and he’s just upstairs now getting himself off to sleep after a brief scream of outrage due to the missing muzzy situation. I doubt it’ll be long before he’s flaked out…. famous last words.
So I’m sat downstairs now finishing this off and questioning whether I should go and get some painkillers. I can always FEEL a Tuesday these days, its a struggle. I love my boy more than anything but he’s hard work, not because he’s a bad kid it’s just the age he’s at – every 2 year old is hard work. I always feel a bit guilty that he goes to nursery rather than stays home with me but it’s 100% essential for both of us. He needs that socialisation and he loves his wee pals, my guilt is only ever when I try and compare myself to more mummsier mums than me on the internets. I do wish he’d stop making us shit art work at nursery though. I’m not one of those mums that keep every little scrap they touch because it’s “precious” – we’ve kept maybe half a dozen things in the 2 years he’s been at nursery because most of it has been shite. When he turns into Picasso then I’ll start appreciating them but for now his finger painting and brush painting and sponge painting can all live in the bin. I don’t even feel bad.
So anyway I’m not great. I’m heavier and more tired that yesterday but I don’t have quite the same level of bone pain so I guess that’s a bonus? I do however have a load of numbness and some really odd twitching in my face and legs and I know it’s a result of being knackered but I reckon a few people thought I was overly friendly in B & Q winking at them like that. It’s not a friendly wink either it’s a a creepy “I want to sniff your hair” kind of eye flicker that’s only purpose is to make me look like a badger having a stroke. So tomorrow, I’m hoping, will let me just switch off for a bit. I would say to give me a chance to build myself back up but, well, M.E doesn’t work like that – I will be as much of a flaccid cock tomorrow as I am today but I’ll have peace to sleep through it. Or at least not have to talk. Both luxuries I am very grateful for at the minute.
- Solo parenting is DONE
- Eli’s been in a good mood despite being an arsehole about his nap
- Nursery day for Eli tomorrow hooorayyy for designated rest time
- Christiaan’s not well the poor bugger
- I need to go back to the docs tomorrow to extend my sick note, the doc will be great about it, I know that, but I’m really not looking forward to going in and telling someone else I’m STILL not better
- I’ve still not had a shit you know
- What’s on the menu Mellars?
- A yoghurt for breakfast… I know I should probably have more but I just cant face it
- Lunch – boiled egg on a slice of wholemeal and then an apple after
- Dinner – Smoked Basa (like haddock but cheaper and meatier, you’ll get it skinned and boned in Tesco) risotto with a side of broccoli, onions and garlic
Are you new round here?
If you’ve just stumbled across TryingToDoItAll and have no bastarding idea what’s going on you should probably go back and read a few blogs from the beginning. Don’t panic, I won’t ask you to read them all, but these few posts will help explain. Oh stop sighing, it’ll only take you a few minutes. Fucks sake.
- Well you’re here, so you may as well get comfy
- Can’t stop M.E. now…. ahmm having such a good time, ahmm tickling your balllssss!
- When are the grown ups coming?
- Major surgery…again?
- You’ve got to be kidding M.E.?
#mecfs #meawarenessuk #mewarrior #silentillness #swearymum